Category Archives: Births, Deaths, Marriages

Funeral

Miss Calder (we think) buried last Wednesday. The remains were impossible to identify, but her ghost is very much in residence at the Pallid Rock orphanage and she says this was her. Reverend Davies says its’ peculiar burying someone when you have only just been talking to them.

Seasonal Events

 

 
I trust that you all enjoyed a merry Christmas. The midnight mass was especially atmospheric this year, the wind around the church producing a sound uncannily like a child crying. Twenty graves have been dug to see us through the winter – a conservative estimate I fear. For the wellbeing of your community, do not undertake to die before the thaw, if you can possibly help it!

No Marriages

There was a peculiar scene at the Church last Wednesday when Balthazar Lemon appeared with a very large and dead cod that he demanded to be formally married to. The union did not take place, Reverend Davies having carefully explained that the sacrament of marriage involves one man and one woman, not one man and one expired fish. Mister Lemon’s longstanding and well known fish obsession has caused some speculation as to whether he is the one using them as a writing medium.

 

Arrivals and departures

Births – Solidarity Jones, born to Cadence and Integrity Jones last Tuesday.

Deaths – The body of Vortigern Frog was discovered on the Library steps on Thursday morning. However, the ghost of Vortigern Frog remains very much a presence in the Memorial Library and will clearly be continuing as librarian. The fates of those returning books late may be too terrible to describe.

Births

Mongomery Psalms Chevin born Tuesday last and doing well. Parents Eloise Chevin and Marmaduke Corinthians Chevin invite everyone to attend the Christening next Saturday.

And another virtue for the Jones clan – Punctuality Jones, (younger brother to Politeness and Perseverance) arrived in the world on Thursday morning, exactly as expected. Hence the name.

Match and Dispatch

Marriages: Petulant Jones and Armitage Chevin married on Tuesday afternoon, keeping up a long tradition of intermarriage between these two family lines. It was a charming ceremony.  The bride wore a floral dress, the fabric for which had very likely been made with furniture coverings in mind.

Deaths: One child, unidentifiable, probably drowned. I’m not aware of any lost children this week, but if you are missing an infant, speak to Justus Frog, who found the body.