Miss Calder (we think) buried last Wednesday. The remains were impossible to identify, but her ghost is very much in residence at the Pallid Rock orphanage and she says this was her. Reverend Davies says its’ peculiar burying someone when you have only just been talking to them.
We’d like to honour the recent marriage of Sarah and Henry Squamous. Although it didn’t take place in the church, Elgar Frog assures me that it is all entirely legal, binding and proper.
This week the Chevin family buried Gospels Chevin (deceased, aged 97) Saw Hermitage Chevin married to his cousin Glory Chevin, and had a Christening for David Chevin, the rather eccentrically named son of Hallelujah and Obediance Chevin. They have been busy! Everyone else seems to have been very quiet indeed.
There was a peculiar scene at the Church last Wednesday when Balthazar Lemon appeared with a very large and dead cod that he demanded to be formally married to. The union did not take place, Reverend Davies having carefully explained that the sacrament of marriage involves one man and one woman, not one man and one expired fish. Mister Lemon’s longstanding and well known fish obsession has caused some speculation as to whether he is the one using them as a writing medium.
Births – Solidarity Jones, born to Cadence and Integrity Jones last Tuesday.
Deaths – The body of Vortigern Frog was discovered on the Library steps on Thursday morning. However, the ghost of Vortigern Frog remains very much a presence in the Memorial Library and will clearly be continuing as librarian. The fates of those returning books late may be too terrible to describe.
Missing: Desmond Hector.
Found: Regina Higsbottom was found drunk in the woods at the weekend, so that’s one mystery solved.
Deaths: Guinever Frog died peacefully in her sleep, aged 102.
Births: Mrs Erma Chevin has given birth to triplets! Congratulations to all four.
Mongomery Psalms Chevin born Tuesday last and doing well. Parents Eloise Chevin and Marmaduke Corinthians Chevin invite everyone to attend the Christening next Saturday.
And another virtue for the Jones clan – Punctuality Jones, (younger brother to Politeness and Perseverance) arrived in the world on Thursday morning, exactly as expected. Hence the name.
Marriages: Petulant Jones and Armitage Chevin married on Tuesday afternoon, keeping up a long tradition of intermarriage between these two family lines. It was a charming ceremony. The bride wore a floral dress, the fabric for which had very likely been made with furniture coverings in mind.
Deaths: One child, unidentifiable, probably drowned. I’m not aware of any lost children this week, but if you are missing an infant, speak to Justus Frog, who found the body.