Cliff Cumber has drawn his last weapon

By Frampton Jones

Friends, only yesterday we were mourning the demise of Moog Gravett, trampled and eaten by a giant cow. Today, the terrible truth about the cow has come to light, and the terrible consequences continue. I feel partly responsible – I did see the cow from afar and I might have recognised it.

When Cliff Cumber came to the island, we had to take all his pens away. You may remember what happened with the scantily clad women he drew. What it is about his art that caused it to gain partial, misty form and walk amongst us, no one has ever established. What we do know for certain is that if Cliff Cumber draws, the drawing comes to life.

Being a passably sensible chap, he stopped doing this after the third alluring lady was released upon the populous. Or at least, he seemed to have stopped. It may have been a heroic inclination on his part to draw something that would eat the red weed. I feel certain he had no intention of killing Moog. But then, I don’t think he meant to drive Phum Chevin into a fit of psychotic madness with the naked ladies, either. Such is life.

Once formed, Cliff’s previous creatures have remained semi-substantial until they eventually blew away in the mist. The cow, designed to be able to eat red weed, had far more substance. It ate several chickens this morning and threatened a number of people. Being not quite real, the cow was able to harm us, while we could do it no damage at all. Missile weapons passed through it. Panic typical of a Thursday morning on the island was settling in before Cliff turned up at the scene with a massive spear he had drawn. He went into battle, and the fight was furious. The cow is gone, and Cliff did not survive his many injuries.

His art supplies will be buried with him. I am sure nothing could possibly go wrong with this arrangement.


You can find one of Cliff’s infamous naked ladies in this Hopeless Vendetta post –


Last few days of the kickstarter –

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