A Rather cross letter.

Dear Mr Jones,

We are writing to express our displeasure with your report on the Children of Thasaidon’s annual feast of the lunar eclipse in last week’s Vendetta.

We were very distressed by your one-sided coverage of this year’s event.

You made it sound as if almost everyone present was some sort of deranged cultist, when in fact, the meeting was a philosophical and spiritual conference aimed at raising awareness of our beliefs.

We feel that the worship of The Demon Lord Thasaidon has been demonized since we arrived on the island and this article doesn’t help matters!

Implying that we are a secret society, and referring to us as a “lunatic fringe” in your article was misleading and insulting.

First of all, the feast was not limited to a “fringe group” of one particular religion, but had the support and participation of a broad cross-section of this island’s community.

Nothing was said about the charity raffle, children’s workshops or free auguries from our seer – for which, I would like to point out, we didn’t charge a penny. In fact, your article seemed to focus on one minor incident in which a rather excitable member of our brethren plucked the still-beating heart from a goat and howled at the moon (all done in a good-natured spirit of fun I might add).

This was hardly what the feast was entirely about. In all, your coverage was so inaccurate that it could lead one to believe that your publication has significant prejudice against religious groups, regardless of their activities.

Furthermore, each time I try to get through to your office telephone number to put our case forward, Mr Jones, you act as though I were an annoyance!

An apology is in order. You should consider the ramifications of such irresponsible reporting, which will surely not go unnoticed by the public. As for the undersigned and those who were in attendance, we have lost confidence in the credibility of your news reports. We hope you are interested in regaining this confidence and look forward to your correcting the problem.

Kindly retract your statements and apologize. We understand that it may be difficult for the island’s sole local newspaper to be impartial in reporting such matters, but impartiality is important if you wish to have any credibility at all.

Yours sincerely,

Tycho Marcellus

Chief Hierophant of The Church of  The Children of Thasaidon, The Blood-Coloured, Jackal-Headed Lord of the Seven Hells of Zothique. (Bingo every Saturday).

 

This gem was brought to you by none other than the esteemed MR Charles Cutting. (Who is no stranger to dark regions and has explored such places as Kadath and environs)

Artwork by Tom Brown

Advertisements

8 thoughts on “A Rather cross letter.”

  1. I have published your letter because it amuses me to do so, but I take back nothing in my report. Your madness is further illustrated by your insistence on referring to my homing pigeons as ‘telephones’ and your persistently tying unpleasant things to them as ‘trying to get through to my office’. You are indeed, a disreputable annoyance.

  2. I am astonished and disgusted by your blatant lack of professionalism and high-handed, nay, mocking tone. Were this the mainland and we had access to an ombudsman we would have no hesitation in pursuing this through the courts and exposing the tissue of lies published by your rag! As it stands, you leave us no choice but to use…other means…have a care Mr Jones, have a care! Yours menacingly, Tycho Marcellus.

    1. I can assure we are NOT perverts. The goats used in our blasphemous rituals consented to take part – it is you who is small minded! Your attitude is typical of the backwater conservatism that has laid its dead hand on this island’s cultural and spiritual life. Maybe you should get off the island occasionally and see something of the world? I agree that Bingo is a bit old-hat but do you have a better suggestion?

      1. Excuse me?!!! I happen to be a founder-member of SPAM (Society for the Promotion of Anarchist Monopoly). Perhaps you would like to join us for a game sometime? We’ll let you be the Banker. We do like a new Banker to play with. Indeed. Sadly, we get through them rather quickly. Rather like goats.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s